It has been quite an interesting day. After a weekend of helping and worship, today was rough. I'll start with the weekend first.
A crazy thing in Germany--when a couple buys a house, they are repsonsible for putting EVERYTHING in it. I am not talking about a registry, I am talking about cabinets, tile, wallpaper all over, paint, flooring, windows...the list goes on. One couple involved in the church needed our help, so we spent this past Saturday (and some Sunday) doing jobs for them. I am trying to put pictures up soon so you can have a look at the craziness. Talk about stress!! On Sunday, we went to church and some from our team led worship. Bryan (one of our team leaders) spoke to the congregation with the help of an interpreter. We all went to eat Italian ice cream and Turkish food--imagine that! I think the Turkish guy behind the counter was laughing at my attempts to order in Turkish. :P
Today I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. It was rainy and I felt pressured to wake up earlier than I did. I snapped at someone on my team and then I was supposed to go share the love of Christ with the people on campus. Somehow it didn't seem okay. I talked with a friend and cried, and then I spent some time alone. I realized several things about why I was feeling emotional: I haven't spent a lot of time with God lately due to the nature of overseas travel and teams, and the five year anniversary of my dad's death is coming up on June 10th. Please pray for my heart. I am always too busy to think about it until May comes, then suddenly I start crying a lot. It usually takes a while to figure out why I am so sad for the month. Anyway, all of this heaped on me today. So I cried in a cafe alone, talked with Jesus, and then I still didn't feel okay to go out on campus. I felt like a soldier in battle, only my legs had been shot.
The difference was that I asked God to carry/drag me to where he wanted me to go, even though I didn't feel like anything would come out of it. I was wrong about being ineffective. Apparently, Jesus always works with a willing heart, even if it is from a wounded soldier.
I met some great people not 5 minutes after I returned to our book table on campus. One girl exchaged addresses with me and said she was really excited to start talking with me. :)
Keep praying for our team relations and my effectiveness here in Germany. I would also love to hear comments or encouragements if you have any. More later!
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Hey Katie!
I just finally got to check out your blog. Sounds like you guys had a great impact in Germany. Wish I could have been there with you! It is awesome to hear how many students came to your events and so eager to talk and build relationships!
I want to encourage you as you shared the difficulty of missing your father by sharing that I can relate to those feelings. February was 10 years since losing my mother. I understand the sneak up of grief around the annual anniversary and special events that she would have enjoyed and been a significant part. Thankfully we have a God of all comfort to turn to as I know you do.
Thank you for the time you take to share your joys and struggles as it is such a ministry that I see many Christians missing. We learn just as much, probably more, from how God carries us through the struggles, and seeing that struggles are not just the experience of the immature or sin seeking but a reality of life. So please keep sharing and being real that we may learn more of God through you as well as build you up through prayer!
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