Wednesday, January 09, 2008

What to do when you have the flu...

As I was taking a break from sleeping by sitting on my couch this morning, the sunlight broke through the blinds, creating a streak across my sightline. There in the light, I saw a “fuzzy” floating through the air—dainty and graceful. I have a weird fascination with “little things” and my friends all know that to be true. Something about it made me want to grab the little fuzzy. I’m not sure why…I don’t even know what I would’ve done with it if I had captured it anyway. Regardless, my instinct was to reach out and grab what I wanted. Like a child, I let desire overcome logic and just as I pinched it, the force of the air pushed it away from my grip. I admit to being a little sad that it floated away (okay, before you judge, know that I am recovering from a self-diagnosed flu and have nothing better to do than sleep and watch “fuzzies” float through the air!). What I realized (as I often do) is how much of a life comparison that is for humans.

If we want something, we are taught to “go for it” or “go get it”—strive, work, toil for it. That makes sense for some things, but I don’t think it always bodes well for things of the heart: desires, dreams, hopes. Not that I am advocating sitting on our behinds doing nothing, but I wonder how much more joy we would have it we would hold out our extended, open palm (work to get ourselves ready and in position for blessing) and then wait for the floating fuzzy to gracefully land on our hand (allow God to bless the work we’ve done in whatever way He chooses).

I’ve noticed that the more I strive in my own desire for things, the more it repels from my grasp—much like the dancing fuzzball. If I trust and allow God to work with my open fingers by laying my desires, requests, hopes and dreams before Him, stuff just seems to work out for the best, you know? I hope this makes sense, as I may just realize I’m writing gibberish when I fully recover from “medicine head.”