TAKS torture

Introducing the newest form of torture: TAKS (the dreaded "TEST" that keeps upper elementary school kids from passing if they fail it. If too many pass it, they make it harder and more unpredictable the next year...and the next...pretty soon, first graders will need a master's degree to advance to 2nd)

Today was the grumpiest day I've had this year at school. I'll give you the setting...
It's a cold, wet, drizzly day with 19 first graders (one dropped off at 8:15 today due to fever--of course, not the RIGHT one). Yesterday was indoor recess and a 'modified' schedule (sure to make any kid bonkers) for the upper elementary. Today starts off with my immediate shushing and snapping to get the 19 youngsters in line and silent. I mutter grumblings under my breath as I clear the sleep from my eyes. "Should I have stayed up that late?" I wonder. In walks the TAKS monitor telling me to keep my class quieter because they can 'hear us clear out in the hall'. I think we accidentally breathed in unison and created a loud sigh. Oops.

I rebuked my 'kids' in a strained whisper and gave an eye roll to really "communicate" my frustration with them. This continues all day until lunch. A jumper here...a knee hitting the floor there...each time, more rebuke as a sly smile crosses his face. "Will Miss Brown really blow steam out of her ears if I do it again? Or was that just a frustrated, ridiculous threat?" This goes on for hours.

After we walk down the hall in complete silence (all the while perfecting my 'evil teacher eye' with one student after another), I go for my 15 minute lunch break, only to find out that all the 'TAKS' teachers get a catered free lunch from an upscale place. All year they press us K, 1, and 2 teachers to "take the test seriously because we are TAKS teachers as much as the rest"--until the rubber meets the road, I see. At least the coke machine gave me an extra coke today...it knew it was about to meet its death for taking my money yesterday if it did it again.

There they are...19 little pairs of eyes, back in my room. They had to have a 'silent lunch' due to the test, so they are excited about recess. No recess, the TAKS gods say. No special areas either. That equals no bathroom for Miss Brown today. No rest from all the little questions and the massive amounts of shushing. Ahhh...Finding Nemo and an early release birthday pass for me. Salvation.

That chai tastes better today...I wonder why. I think I'm already feeling a cold coming on for TAKS day 2007.