I once heard a singles talk (no, this one was not the typical "I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.." one) where the woman started off by saying, " I LOVE being single. I want to be married." Can these two statements co-exist? (one wonders) I believe, yes. But I am getting the suspicion that most people don't think so. Read the rest of this post with that in mind...I agree with the statment and carry it wholeheartedly: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE being single. I SO want to be married.
The other day in church, we were asked to shout out what we are thankful for. I waited as I heard many things from others to be thankful for: God, babies, family, car rides that went well, safety, etc. The only thing that came to mind was what I shouted out: singleness. After the few chuckles subsided, I found myself pretty peeved. Why do people chuckle when you say that? It's like they don't believe me. "Poor dear, it takes courage to find contentment. I am glad she is speaking truth so she can believe it." Like someone with boils on their body saying, "I'm thankful for good health."
This was just icing on a multi-layered, very old cake for me. I have heard this time and time again. Many singles feel that we are in some sort of 'social purgatory', waiting, twiddling thumbs, until the marriage lottery calls our number. Is it really the end all, be all, of life? Don't get me wrong about marriage (remember my disclaimer at the start), but this is stinkin' frustrating to deal with, day in and day out. Part of my discontentment with singleness is because I almost feel like something is wrong with me if ever I am actually content being alone.
When else could I do the things that I do? Why sit around when the Lord has given me time to use for Him, without any distraction? I look forward to the day when (rather, if) God allows the beautiful "distractions" that marriage/kids can bring, but how is moping, sulking, complaining, and envying going to bring me to that desire?
I hope I haven't ticked anyone off.
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5 comments:
1. you have such a great attitude! I always learn so much from you...
2.katie your writing here is great, i can hear your voice just telling me this story as if we were sitting back in that laundrymat in nice debating whether or not you should take that brown tank top. haha
3.i miss you so much, how are you?
On the other end of marriage, family duties, etc. I feel guilty at times that I have a choice. Once the mate and/or children are there, needs are urgent and dictate our activites, with wonderful rewards along with the sacrifice. God has not sent me another mate, but I am safe in the knowledge that I have done everything "by the book". Since I have a need to be accepted and not to feel different, this is good for me, but slightly unhealthy!
It is difficult in society to overcome the usual expectations and accept where you are, knowing that God always has a plan. I know that He values me and will use me wherever I am. Even when one starts a family there are questions involving working at home vs. outside the home, where I think women will always question what they are doing, and men trying to balance work with homelife and lets not forget church community.
We do, however, seem to want the guys to "mature" as long as possible in their singleness, yet have a double standard for women. I say that is old school....celebrate your freedom, Katie!
Luv, Mum
Amen, sister! I concur :)
Mullet
Amen! Love you!
I agree. I have enjoyed being single and don't know that I would want to be married anytime soon. Though I do desire to be married one day [and having a security that it will FOR SURE happen at some point would be nice], it's exciting to pursue different interests and figure out who I really am and my specific purpose/mission.
Laney
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