I'm addicted to heroin...kind of

I was watching the movie Trainspotting (which is horribly wonderful I might add) and I realized so much about the life of someone addicted to a hard drug like heroin. I have been around my fair share of heroin addicts (sadly), but I guess I have always seen them coming off of it--not ever witnessing the power behind the addiction. I have to admit, I previously had the NO MERCY stance on all of it. I think my inner monologue went something like this, "Ok, loser, just quit it already. Can't you just see that it is ruining your life. Hello? Man, you must be such a weakling that you can't stay away from something so obviously harmful; you would be willing to let so much go for such a instant gratification/short term thing. I'm glad I'm not YOU."

However, after watching that movie, I realized that I was no better. It may sound ridiculous to many, but I feel so much of what he was talking about with just your regular suburban heroin--Starbucks. I find myself bargaining with the devil practically to get an IV drip of Chai Latte. I think they are going to start signing off your first born at the checkout counter pretty soon. Seriously, the power of wanting something that you've told yourself you can't have is wicked hard to overcome. I have now been thrust off my high horse to the ground of compassion and understanding--and it's a rocky place.

I only wish every hopeless addict I've ever snobbishly written off could hear me now...