My Date with Murphy ('s Law, that is...)

How to start school off on the right foot:

5:45 Wake up; hit snooze a few times

6:15 Get up; go downstairs and make a smoothie and hot lemon water to take to work; running early instead of late for a change

6:45 Get ready without getting distracted by the description of the drug cocktail found in MJ’s dead body

7:00 Realize that an afro of curls is NOT the way a first grader should be introduced to his or her teacher

7-7:18 Tame the afro with high-powered CHI iron

7:18 Look down at watch and realize that I need to leave like 5 minutes ago

7:18-7:22 Race around like a madwoman...dressed and ready at last!

7:22 Pick up school bag with pertinent info and simultaneously pour the last half of my breakfast smoothie down my back, in my hair, and down in my bag...don't ask how, I still don't know

7:25 Wonder why my back is wet; Scream and panic and rip off clothes; throw them to bewildered mom standing nearby in confusion

7:28 Clothing set #2...wouldn’t have chosen this for the first day, but oh well. It is sans smoothie, so it’ll do. Glad I did laundry yesterday.

7:28-7:40 Speed up I-35 and pray that God will overlook this law-breaking just this once

7:40 Yay...Denton. Uh-oh, a bit of traffic on my normal route

7:41 Go back way--or, as some would call, a shortcut

7:42-7:48 Stuck in school traffic; finally arrive in school parking lot...I’m gonna make it before the kids get there at 7:50! Yay!

7:48-7:52 No, I’m not. Everyone and their dog has come to drop their kids off and walk in. People are parking in the grass. I circle like a vulture. I cut people off. The fire lane will just have to do for now.

7:53 Sprint for the doors...realize keys are in other clothes

7:56 Knock on doors until Assistant Principal sees me and walks to let me in; tears welling in my eyeballs

7:57 Keys tossed to Assistant principal, who becomes my valet service and goes to park my messy car (he claims later to wanting to clean up my many straw wrappers from Sonic). What a guy!

7:58 Arrive in my classroom to greet kids already working; parents hovering in their child’s ‘teacher-less’ classroom; apologies handed out like candy; wondered if I might have cut one of them off in the parking lot. oops.

7:59 Pictures snapped...hope the sweat rings didn’t show in this child’s keepsake

8:00 Set of parents ask if I am single and offer to set me up as I greet more children; I laugh and wipe the sweat off my forehead...is it awkward in here or is it just me?

8:01 Doors closed and kids smile...I share what happened and we all laugh; they know I’m not playing when I say ‘if you are having a rough morning, I understand’

Glad they do too. Happy first day of school.

Note to self: tomorrow...no smoothie.