Were you worth it?

Dear France,
I love you dearly and I am so thrilled that I got to visit you and your people this summer! Besides, I met some great people on the project that I worked on. But, I have some bad news for you, France.

You see, yesterday I had a bad day. The pits. I had to have an emergency root canal because of you. I had a cavity go from "not there" to severe in the exact amount of time that I spent with you. Rats! But, that's not all. Trekking around your beautiful cities left me with a stress fracture. Although your doctors are legit, they didn't properly stabilize my bone, so I received a torn ligament in the arch of my other foot when I tried to hobble to your beach and back like 5 times a day. Hobbling on that foot, now my "stress fracture foot" also has a torn arch ligament. Yay. France--in case you can't count--that's two arches torn. Now, let's do the math...How many feet do you have to work with? Yes, you got it.

Now, granted, some of this was my doing--the Fanta, the stubborness about not walking everywhere--but you gave me no choice. I wasn't going to hold it against you, France...until yesterday. As the numbness was wearing off from the root canal and the tooth was just beginning to throb like mad, I received the disturbing news that because my injuries in my feet were so old (aka...happened in the summer), the swelling was "abnormally" out of control. In other words...not healing. I wish I could say that getting a steroid shot in my heel (which, by the way, was more painful than the moon TATTOOED on the top of my foot) was nothing because I got to spend time with you, France. But, that was not my thought at all. In fact, as I limped out with the doctor's order of 6 weeks/3 times a week of electronic stimulation therapy (then, if it doesn't work, surgery) and a throbbing heel and tooth, my only thought was..."France, were you worth it?"

Can you prove me otherwise?

Your so-so friend (who's a little ticked),
Katie B.

Can I get a shiver?

I am so excited because we had our first "cold day" here in Denton! Yay. I wore a thin long sleeve shirt and I think I shivered once. I absolutely adore fall/colder weather, so I am pumped about our little "cold snap." Hopefully, it will last longer than a day.

I am also excited because I am praying that the Lord will take me to Kenya this March with my church. We have to raise about 2-3,000 bucks by January, so you know I'll be calling y'all to see if you can help out. I am excited because it will be different from other ministries I have gone overseas for. This time, we will working with "Food for the Hungry" and hopefully with AIDS orphans (those affected by parents who died of AIDS). There is a litte bit of orphan in me that burns for them, so I hope I get to go. Please pray and give $ if you can. You will be blessed!

I'm addicted to heroin...kind of

I was watching the movie Trainspotting (which is horribly wonderful I might add) and I realized so much about the life of someone addicted to a hard drug like heroin. I have been around my fair share of heroin addicts (sadly), but I guess I have always seen them coming off of it--not ever witnessing the power behind the addiction. I have to admit, I previously had the NO MERCY stance on all of it. I think my inner monologue went something like this, "Ok, loser, just quit it already. Can't you just see that it is ruining your life. Hello? Man, you must be such a weakling that you can't stay away from something so obviously harmful; you would be willing to let so much go for such a instant gratification/short term thing. I'm glad I'm not YOU."

However, after watching that movie, I realized that I was no better. It may sound ridiculous to many, but I feel so much of what he was talking about with just your regular suburban heroin--Starbucks. I find myself bargaining with the devil practically to get an IV drip of Chai Latte. I think they are going to start signing off your first born at the checkout counter pretty soon. Seriously, the power of wanting something that you've told yourself you can't have is wicked hard to overcome. I have now been thrust off my high horse to the ground of compassion and understanding--and it's a rocky place.

I only wish every hopeless addict I've ever snobbishly written off could hear me now...

Mission Impossible?

Lately I have felt a little alone in this world--like "alone in a crowd" alone. I have wrestled with God about why and my main reason is because the people I connect with the most are so far away from me. Don't get me wrong, I love the people I hang out with, but I am talking about the people who just "get" you...you don't even have to say how you are feeling--they just know. Those people in my life are hours and hours away and I miss them daily. As I was feeling all of this (and having a slight breakdown :P), I spent some extended time with the Lord at a retreat.

I was sitting on a blanket by a beautiful lake and listening to the wind. I thought it was rushing water at first, but then I realized that it was the sound of the leaves blowing. I looked over at a group of 3 trees that were close to each other, but far enough away that they reminded me of my situation with my best friends. The trees looked very similar in make-up and about the same height. Here is what my heart received from Jesus:

The trees are not lonely. They stand alone, but never lonely. The same wind that pushes one, pushes the other. Although they respond each in their own way, they are still rustling with the same movement and the same sound: like they feed off each other without ever being near. This is your season...should you choose to be content in it.

I was super encouraged because I realized (yet again) that my contentment right now is a choice.